Some days are hard; and the rougher they are, the more inclined I am to retreat in order to resist trying to cling to others for support. My sense of honor refuses me the luxury of being a burden.

It makes me stronger, forces me to continue to hold it together long after I think I may crack. And it makes me realize how lucky I am to have people I can cling to, should I ever break and need that support I deny myself.

Life has changed a lot over the passed few years. I have honest friends I'll keep in touch with no matter where our paths take us, and a mate I can turn to when I need to curl under his arm and feel safe for a while. No matter how close I feel to my breaking point, I never forget that.

This year there was nothing I was thankful for - not exactly a person or feeling or idea. I found myself just thankful in general, glad to be alive. No matter how messed up I may get, that's still one of the many lessons my guy's taught me; how to be happy and enjoy being alive.

Last year I learned to believe in love; the year before I learned to believe in hope; before that it was how to heal from what lies in the past. This year I learned how to believe in safety - to find the peace that comes with true happiness.

My path is difficult for now, but I am glad for it all the same. I find myself grateful just to have had the chance to walk this far; to have lived.

I've found a new appreciation in all things, even as I retreat in my troubles. Yet the truth of it is, I have the greatest appreciation for my man. If there is anything I am thankful for, rather than a blanket sense of gratitude, it would have to be said that I am thankful for him.

He is my everything. He brought me to life, taught me to live and offers me a future. No matter how it hurts to miss him, I have to be thankful for that.

Do you feel glad for what you've had through the year just past? It's not a lie, like I always thought it was. There is joy to be found. Do you have yours?